Date: Fri Feb 23, 2001 7:26am Hi to everyone, I hope this message does not come up twice because of an error I made in my computer, anyway, I was recently invited to join the PROZACAWARENESS group. I had a very bad experience with Paxil about a year and a half ago. I first started taking it in June of 1999. I started noticing strange problems right away, like after the first week that I started it, everyday seemed like I was living in a dream world, like it was not real. I also noticed changes in my thought patterns and some real strange mental symptoms that I have never been able to describe. My thought patterns seemed abnormal after about the first week. I was taking the drug for panic symptoms, so after about 2 weeks I decided to just quit. I had no idea that the stuff would cause withdrawal symptoms (I was on 10 mg per day) and after about 3 days I felt them. So figuring the withdrawal symptoms were worse than taking the drug, I started taking it again. Things never went well from there on out, my mind kept seeming strange. I finally ended up quitting the stuff about 3 months later after having a very strange experience. At the end of about 3 months my mind had started producing thoughts without me having any control over them and it seemed like my mind would break down emotionally or something over them. After this started to happen I finally decided to just throw the stuff away, but my mind has never seemed to return to normal and it has left me with strange mental symptoms which are hard to describe. The mental symptoms that I have been left with were worse then the withdrawal effects so I didn't even care about those symptoms anymore. To this day I have been to several Doctors and Mental Health Proffesionals seeking help, but no one seems to know what is wrong or what happened to me. My life has been like a nightmare ever since. I have not noticed any improvement in my condition in almost a year. I was wondering if anyone else has had any weird mental symptoms on these SSRI drugs or anything similar to what has happened to me, the problem is really serious and I wished that I would have done some research before I started taking Paxil. I hope that I might keep one person from going through all the misery and torture mentally that I have faced. If I could save one person out there, my misery would be worth a whole lot to me. No one should suffer the agaony and distress I have been through. I think the bottom line is that these drugs are extremely dangerous no doubt about it. If anyone experienced something similar to this or knows of any help I would shure appreciate it. Please feel free to email me if anyone wants to know more about what happened to me or knows anything about what Paxil is capable of doing as far as psychological damage etc. Thanks, Randy Date: Fri Feb 23, 2001 1:14pm Response: Hi Randy, Welcome to ProzacAwareness. A few symptoms you describe look very similar with what I experienced with Prozac. living in a dream world like it was not real, I also noticed changes >in my thought patterns and some real strange mental symptoms that I >have never been able to describe> When I first took Prozac I was flying high as kite and my perception was changed to the point that I litterly thought that I could take over the world. I wasn't paying any attention anymore at signals from my friends, my family nor my total environment. I was living in my own dreamworld. Needless to say that I lost all my friends. It's not a dreamworld like in a symbolic way, no, it's a real dreamworld of a strange spherical kind and I fell for it at first. How stupid ! 3months later after having a very strange experience it seemed as if >my mind was producing thoughts without me having any control over >them and then my mind seemed to break down emotionally> When I broke down (b.t.w. you can read my story in the "files" section 08-08- 2000), I experienced exactly the same things like you did. I described the thoughts as "clouds of gas" racing in the middle and front of my head. They were from an electrical kind of nature, and so fucking clearly that I could actually hear and feel them ! I will never forget this experience nor the impact that it had on my psyche. Along with this experience came the strange dissociative emotions, emotions that were totally detached from my character, and I think you have experienced this too, but it's so Goddamn difficult to descibe this ! (I am getting a little emotional overhere). that I have been left with were worse than the withdrawal effects so >I didn't even care about those symptoms> I feel with you there ! out Doctors and Mental Health Proffesionals for help and no one >really seems to know what happened, my life has been like a nightmare >ever since I have not noticed any improvement in my condition in almost a year> The doctors don't know squad ! I can tell you more to ease your mind then any doctor could ever do to you. Also I run through every test, you name it, MRI, CAT, EEG, and there was nothing found. The damage that is done is on the micro cellular level and you simply cannot see or mesure that ! Your serotonergic system is scrambled ! Period ! And your dreamlife, your emotions, depend on proper serotonergic function ! It's not only your serotonergic system but also the systems that run after the serotonergic system that are heavily influenced. Those are the tryptamines and the beta-carbolines. Also melatonine produced by the Pineal Gland. You may call it the stuff where dreams are made off. All scrambled ! I could go on and on, but for now I shall keep my response short to you. I am getting too emotional. Take care and ask as much questions you like, and read the stories in the "files" section of this group ! Oh and I almost forgat to mention to you: YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS ! It takes more time, but gradually your mental and physical health will improve. Week by week, month by month. Charly